what up!

photo via Pinterest 1 & Pinterest 2

Today I've just realized that the next episode of How I met your mother I'll be watching in Germany. Oh so soon.
So I've got a little sad, but, when I'm starting to feel that way, I stop being sad and get awesome instead. True story.
Here's my 10 favorite Barney Stinson quotes:  

• If you are not sure, ask yourself, "What would Ted do?" Then do the opposite. 
  
  
• A lie is just a story ruined by the truth.
  
  
• God, it's me, Barney. What up? I know I don't talk to you enough, although many women cry out your name during sex. Awesome!
  
  
• The world is coming to an end. As predicted by Nostradamus. Notre Dame. Fighting Irish. Irish. Saint Patrick's Day. It's your last day on Earth, Bro. Brocopalypse now. Bromaggedon.
  
  
•  He's the awesomest, most best-lookingest, greatest guy ever! Lily: He's exactly like Barney. Barney: That's what I just said.

• Jesus waited three days to come back to life. It was perfect! If he had only waited one day, a lot of people wouldn't have even heard he died. They'd be all, "Hey Jesus, what up?" and Jesus would probably be like, "What up? I died yesterday!" and they'd be all, "Uh, you look pretty alive to me, dude..." and then Jesus would have to explain how he was resurrected, and how it was a miracle, and the dude'd be like "Uhh okay, whatever you say, bro..." And he's not gonna come back on a Saturday. Everybody's busy, doing chores, workin' the loom, trimmin' the beard, NO. He waited the perfect number of days, three. Plus it's Sunday, so everyone's in church already, and they're all in there like "Oh no, Jesus is dead", and then BAM! He bursts in the back door, runnin' up the aisle, everyone's totally psyched, and FYI, that's when he invented the high five. That's why we wait three days to call a woman, because that's how long Jesus wants us to wait.... True story.

• Did you sleep with her sister?...Sleep with her mom?...I'm losing interest in your story.

• Hey, Ted, you know what always picks me up when I'm down? Other people's misfortune.

• You dumped a porn star? Friendship over. FRIENDSHIP OVER. 

• You can do this, but to be more accurate, you probably can't. You're way out of practice and she's way too hot for you. So, remember, it's not about scoring. It's about believing you can do it, even though you probably can't. Go get 'em, tiger!
  
  quotes via Pastemagazine, Buzzpirates, Facebook, Zoranov Blog & Tv movie quotes